He was nothing like I expected

He was nothing like I expected

            He was nothing like I expected. The stories had it all wrong. He was beautiful,      resplendent, awful to behold…

I woke up with the sound of thunder and a crash of lightning. It was raining out. I looked over to the clock on the wall, it was early. 2 am early. I sat up and rubbed my groggy-face. What woke me up I wondered. I slung my legs off the side of the bed and sat there a moment. Was it a dream that woke me up? Nah I don’t dream much anymore. What was it? I got up and walked towards the window. I pulled the curtain back slightly and peered out into the black night. The rain streaked down the window like slivers of quick-silver. The night was as black as pitch, only to glow white with the sporadic lightning bolts that would shatter and tear at the solid black sky. The night would be beautiful if it wasn’t so violent and dark and cold.

I was about to turn away from the window when I saw something move out the corner of my eye. There in the alley, I am sure I saw movement. I try to gleam some visage from the deep shadows, but the dark was completely unyielding. Probably a stray or a rat or just the wind. No wait, there it is again. There in the corner. There is definitely something down there. Somebody down there. I grab my jacket and race out my door and downstairs. The rain had died down a bit, now it was a fine drizzle that was icy-cold and drenching. I get to the alley and peer into the darkness again.

“Hello, anybody there? Are you alright?” I ask suddenly realising that this is rather stupid. I don’t know what is out there, I don’t know who is out there. It could be some crazed drug-frenzied maniac. It could be a mugger just waiting for a Good Samaritan to poke their head into the alley only to have it shot off. But what if somebody was hurt? I am barely getting to sleep as is without having the death of some bum on my conscience. I call out again “Hello, anybody there?”  This time I am gifted with a response, albeit only a soft moan but a response none the less. I walk closer, quietly, carefully. There in the corner, a bundle wrapped in darkness.

“Hey, are you ok?” I realise that it is rather a stupid question. I step closer gingerly and reach out with my hand and touch the bundle. It starts which in turn frightens me.

“Don’t worry, I want to help.” I say trying to sound as reassuring as possible. I slowly pull the remnants of debris off to reveal what was hidden beneath. Now I was expecting a lot of things but what I saw took me by complete surprise. It was a man, a naked man, a naked man with white blonde hair. He turned and looked at me and I actually gasped. He stared at me with the brightest shade of azure coloured eyes I had ever seen. So blue. So pure. So piercing. So cold…so alien. His features, the epitome of beauty, of perfection. He reminded me of those marble statues of David and the such. I took off my jacket and draped it over the man and helped him up. I slung his arm over my shoulder and carried-dragged him back up to my apartment and lay him on the couch. He was half conscious there on my couch. What was he doing in the alley? Why was he naked? Where did he come from? Who was he? Thinking back now it is funny how that question would be the last one to pop into my mind.

I hunch down. “Hey, you ok?” I ask. No response.

“What were you doing out in the alley in the rain?”

“I…I fell. I fell fur…further than I thought possible.” He said quietly before passing out completely. I sat down on the chair opposite him and just stared. I am not quiet sure how long I sat there but the next thing I knew I woke up to the bright morning sun shining into my lounge. I looked at the couch and saw the stranger was not there. I sat up straight up and looked around the apartment looking for the man. Was it all a dream? No there he is, at the window, his skin almost glimmering in the sunlight. He looked almost…ethereal.

“Hey, you feeling better, obviously.” I murmured still half asleep. He didn’t reply. Just stood there, naked, except for my jacket still draped over his broad shoulders. I stood up and was suddenly aware of my owe vulnerability and quickly rushed to my bedroom and grabbed my silk dressing-gown and threw it over my body and wrapped it tight around me and tied the band around my narrow waist. I tugged my long auburn hair out and over so it draped over down my back. I stood in my bedroom a while and pondered upon the thought that had just occurred to me. What possessed me to bring a complete stranger into my place? Why didn’t I just call the cops or an ambulance or anybody else? And what was I thinking falling asleep still with him there on my couch? But he didn’t seem interested in me, the whole night I sat there asleep wearing nothing but my short pink satin nighty. He could have done anything to me and I wouldn’t have been able to stop him. Maybe, in some sick twisted way, that is what I wanted, lord knows I haven’t been laid in a year. Hell, I haven’t even had a boyfriend since…Patrick.

I stepped back out into the lounge and saw him standing there. He turned and looked at me with those bright azure eyes that seemed to penetrate my soul. He smiled and that is when I realised I was staring.

“Sorry.” I said.

“For what?” he asked.

“Nothing, never mind.” I replied feeling the shame heating up my face.

“Do you want coffee?” I offered.

“Coffee?” he asked quizzically.

“Yes, coffee. You know, black gold, nectar of the gods.” I replied with a slight giggle.

“God…” he answered under his breath. It may have been my imagination but it almost sounded like he said it with disgust.

I shrugged my shoulders and walked to the kitchen and put on the kettle and set out two cups for coffee. I felt a strange feeling of excitement. Here I am, making coffee for a complete stranger, wearing nothing but a tiny nighty and silk gown. I glance over at him, he is absolutely beautiful. I find myself staring. I can’t take my eyes of his smooth alabaster skin, his sculpted muscles, his soft blonde hair, his blue eyes…oh crap he sees me staring. I quickly look away and grab the singing kettle off the stove and quickly pour the water into the cups. I glance up again and see him looking back at me, smiling. I flash a quick sheepish smile back and pick up the cups and carry them to the circular glass dining room table. I sit down and place the cups down.

“You wanna join me?” I ask, feeling very girly and silly. He looks at me and gracefully moves towards the table and sits across from me. My heart skips a beat as I suddenly realise in my musings. He is still naked.

“Erm…I guess we should get you something to wear.” I respond while trying to hide my all too obvious blush. I begin to get up and move towards my bedroom to get this Adonis something to wear…pants at the very least…when he grabbed my wrist. His grasp was firm but gentle. His touch smooth…and cold. It almost felt like ice water biting into my skin. Why was he so cold? I wondered to myself but passed it off as him sleeping through the night wrapped in the cold, wet jacket and…naked. I look up from my captured wrist up into his smooth features and piercing blue eyes. He simply smiled and said “Thank you.”

I had not noticed before but his voice almost had a musical tone to it. Almost as if he was lost in a perpetual song. I smiled in a silly manner and nodded as he released his grip. I walked to my room, glancing back at him. He just sat there, watching my every move. I have not been watched like that since…Patrick. I started as I banged my head against the frame of the door. I grimaced as I rubbed my head smartly. I glanced back at him. He still sat there…staring…almost as if he did not quite understand what was happening. I smiled and walked into my room and shut the door behind me.

What was happening? Why did I feel so…nervous? There was something eerily beautiful about him. As if he doesn’t belong here. I hurried to the closet and took out a shirt and pair of pants that used to belong to…Patrick. I gasped as I touched the material. Gawds I miss him. I brush away a tear and take out the clothing. It still smelled like him. I have been meaning to throw them away but I could just not ever do it. It always felt like he was here, watching me, while I had them. It felt like he was always here…protecting me. I guess that was why I had not been on a date since…since…since he died a year ago. Gawds, has it already been a year since the accident? I back up and sit down hard on the edge of what used to be our bed. Yes, exactly a year to the day.

It was a night much like last night. Dark, stormy, violently beautiful. We were driving back from visiting his folks for the first time. We had just announced our engagement. I twist the thin red gold band around my finger at the memory. He was driving, I was sleeping beside him. I don’t remember much of the accident. I just know what I was told. A truck driver fell asleep behind the wheel and veered into our side of the road. Patrick blasted his horn and swerved out of the way off the road and into a gully and into a tree. He was killed on impact I was told. He did not suffer. It was not for several hours before we were discovered by another driver passing by. The truck driver, apparently drove off never to be seen again.

After being revived by the EMTs I was told that I should also have died but, by some miracle, I survived. Since that day it has always felt as if Patrick was watching over me. I know it is silly and I am told by my friends almost every day that I should move on. That Patrick is gone. But I can’t. He is always with me and will always be with me. I breathe in deep and wipe away the tears. I get up and put on a pair of jeans and white tank top. That was when I noticed the mark on my wrist. His ice-cold grip seemed to have ‘burned’ an impression into my skin. I gingerly touched it. It stung for a second. It reminded me of when I was a kid and I licked some ice off a pole. That sting froze my tongue in place and my dad had to pour some warm water down the pipe over my tongue to release it. That sting felt just like this. As I rubbed it the mark slowly melted away. I stared at my wrist before looking up at the closed door. What was he? Slowly I exit the room and see him, still sitting exactly where I had left him, still smiling, staring. I avert my glance and edge towards him. Something is biting at the edge of my mind. Something is wrong here. What was that?! I spin to the desk in the corner to see…nothing.

I stare in fear at the empty desk bathed in gold by the rising sun. I could have sworn I saw…Patrick…sitting there as he always did in the mornings doing his crosswords. But there is nothing there. Could I have seen a shadow?

“What’s wrong?” I hear the almost angelic voice sing to me. I turn to him and then back to the desk. I felt my heart beat so fast it felt like it was about to burst from my chest. I shake my head and smile to myself. That will teach me to watch horror movies before bed. I turn back to the man and simply reply “Nah, nothing to worry about.” I have to admit that I was not sure who I was trying to convince. Especially because it still felt like something was there, just beyond my sight. I could almost hear Patrick’s voice call to me.

I sat back down across from my guest. I looked up at him and offered him a cup of coffee.

“Sorry, I don’t know how you take it.” I said feeling rather like a silly, giddy school-girl who has a boy in her room for the first time. He simply smiled as he took the cup and held it. I picked mine up and took a sip at the bitter brew. He just sat there and watched me, much like a child would. It was creepy.

“I just realised I don’t know your name. My name is Kaitlyn.”

He stared at me almost as if he did not quite understand.

“What’s your name?” I enquired. Again he just sat there, smiling. Gawds he was really beginning to creep me out. Why does he just sit there and…grin?

“What do I call you?” I asked again.

 Finally he responded in the silky smooth voice of his that sounded like smoky glass.

“I am called Loki.”

I cocked my head to my shoulder.

“Loki? That is a very curious name. Your family must have been quite interesting.”

“My…family?”

“Yes. You know. Your mother and father. Family.”

“My…Father…” he almost spat the word out, as if he was trying to expel the word like some bitter gall.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you and your father get along?”

“We…we don’t get along.”

“Oh…I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me. I didn’t mean to pry…” I apologised.

“Banished me. Kicked me out of Our…Home…” He interrupted. It was as if he wasn’t talking to me anymore. It was almost as if he was talking to himself. Or cursing…somebody. I glanced up and turned to glance over my shoulder. I could have sworn I hear a voice. I looked back to Patrick’s desk. I was almost certain I heard him whisper “Kat…get out.” I stared at the desk quizzically. Why do I feel so uneasy? I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I look back at Loki. He was silent and staring at the ground. It looked like he was softly seething. I wanted to say something but I felt as if I had caused enough harm for now. I wanted to reach out and comfort him but something stopped me. Something between the memory of his touch ‘burning’ me and…something else. It was almost as if something beyond realities reached out and held my hand back. Something warm and safe. Something…familiar. My hand hovered just inches from his almost glowing skin. I shook my head and stood up.

“Erm…I’m going to make myself some breakfast. Did you want something to eat? I bet you are hungry.” I asked trying to change the mood. He sat there staring a hole into the carpet for a moment before suddenly looking up. I gasped. Those crystal blue eyes were now inky black. Like two deep holes. Holes leading to…nothingness. I felt a shiver and again the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. My breath was caught in my chest and my heart pounded so hard I could hear my blood rushing through my veins. I wanted to turn and run. Something at the edge of my consciousness egged me to run, but I was frozen to my spot.

He smiled and as quickly as the dark black-holes appeared they were replaced by the soft blue glow of earlier. I felt at easy once more. What was that? A trick of the light? I convinced myself it was simply that but something deep inside screamed silently. I bit my bottom lip and turned towards the kitchen. I stood by the counter out of sight and pressed my hands down onto the cool tiled surface. What have I gotten myself into? Ever since I brought this strange man into my home things have felt…strange. I grimaced as I tried to think. Why did I feel so uneasy? What was it about Loki that unsettled me so? Loki? Why does that name sound familiar? Loki? Loki? I gasped.

Fuck! Loki! My brain screamed in recognition. Patrick has used that name before in his research. Patrick was a Theologist and was doing his thesis on the lesser known religions and beliefs. Patrick’s thesis basically stated that many religions shared common beliefs and superstitions. He also said that many of them even shared gods. Part of his research led him to a minor god from Norse mythology. A god named Loki. Loki was the adopted son of Odin, the All Father. Loki was also a trickster god and one of his main goals was to bring about Ragnarok, the Norse version of the Apocalypse, the End of Days. Patrick had drawn correlations between Loki of Norse mythology and a few other gods and demons from other mythologies. Patrick had noted that there was stark comparisons between Loki and the demon Abbadon (Demon of Destruction) and even Lucifer (the first fallen angel).

Patrick had explained tirelessly to me the similarities between the deities. Loki was jealous of the other Asgardians, especially his adopted brother Thor. Loki had often used his magic to trick the gods, as well as man, to lead them to self-destruction, much like Lucifer and his general Belial (the Father of Lies). Patrick also noted that Loki was forever trying to bring about Ragnarok to destroy his Father’s work. Again the similarities were startling…if only I paid more attention.

I began to sob again thinking of Patrick. If only I listened more. If only I paid him more attention. If only I had more time. If only…

The tears burned as my sobbing became more intense. Oh Gawds…why did I not care more? Why?

A soft gentle touch touched my shoulder. I gasped. Was that Loki? No, this touch wasn’t cold. It was…warm…safe…familiar. I turned and looked straight into the kind gentle face of…Patrick. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. This is it. I have completely lost it. My mind has finally broken. The face smiled softly as he leaned closer and said

“Kat my love, don’t be afraid. I wish I had more time. I have missed you. I wish I had more time to explain. You are in danger. Kat! Kaitlyn! RUN!” and with that final warning he vanished.

“Patrick!” I screamed, but he was gone without a trace, as if he was never there. I stood there a gasp. What the hell just happened? I looked around the kitchen. Did I just see that? Was Patrick really here? I turned to face the counter again. And there, as if it had always been there, was a single orange rose. I touch its soft velvet petals. It can’t be real I told myself, but it was. I lifted the rose to my nose and breathed in its fragrance. I could have sworn I smelt Patrick’s cologne mixed with the fragrance of the rose. Patrick gave me a rose exactly like this on every anniversary.

“Kaitlyn? Are you ok?” a soft angelic voice sang behind me. I started. Oh fuck I forgot Loki was still here. I spun around hiding the rose behind my back. I have no idea why I did that. It just felt like the right thing to do.

“Erm…yeah…I just saw a rat and it scared me.” I lied.

“But you screamed a name. You screamed…Patrick.”

“Oh…*giggle*…did I. Well that was just silly of me. I don’t know why I did that.”

“Was your fiancé not called Patrick.” Loki said more than asked.

I gasped silently.

“How did you know that?”

“Kat…I know everything about you. I remember it all now. I fell. A long time ago I fell. I forgot why I fell. But you have reminded me. I remember it all now. My Father banished me because He loved His…’monkeys’ more than He loved His children. I was banished because I reminded Him that We always serve Him and will never disappoint Him. Not like His…beloved ‘mud monkeys’” Loki began ranting. I sensed his incensed anger brewing just beneath the surface. He was clearly angry at his father and these…monkeys he kept referring to. He began edging towards me with clear malice burning in those deep, black, dark holes. I retreated a step with advance towards me. I felt as if he wanted to hurt me.

“The damned ‘monkeys’ spoilt it all Kat. I have tried so hard to show my Father that. But He wouldn’t listen. He believed that they…you…would redeem yourselves. So I fell and I have spent millennia to prove Him wrong. But I failed. At every step I failed. Every step forward pushed me three back. He wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t make Him listen.”

The air froze around me. It burned my lungs. Puffs of stream rose from my breath. I began to panic. Me? No, not me…us…man…we were the monkeys he was talking about. He hated…mankind. Slowly my frost encrusted brain began to make the connection. I turned to run but he reached out and grabbed my wrist. I screamed in pain. The grip was no longer gentle. It was strong and violent. I spun back to face him. To thrust the knife I had picked up deep into his chest. His chest. His chest was not the smooth alabaster of before but rather a seething mass of spoilt muscle. I cringed as I followed his chest up to his face. No more the beautiful angelic face but rather a face contorted and ugly with anger and spite. Wings rose from his back. Not wings of feathery light as I had hoped but tattered bat-wings of leather. I screamed now from fear more than pain.

“Hush now My love. It will be alright kat my love. I remember now. You have made me remember. Remember why I came here. It is for you, kat. I have figured out how to make Him see. Make you monkeys see. See that you are nothing and I am everything. It is you kat. You are to be My…Bride…” He was closer now. So close I could smell his rancid breath. It smelled of sulphur and…death. I stopped backing away. What did he say? Bride? I am supposed to be his bride?

“Yes kat. You are to be My bride. You are the answer I have been looking for. The last scion. You are the one who is to give birth to…the End.”

I shook my head and screamed as I thrust the knife deep into the rotting flesh. The knife simply shattered against the seemingly soft flesh. He grinned a toothy grin and pulled me in closer. I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me in close. I sobbed from fear and disgust. I wanted to escape but I was helpless. Trapped.

He screamed and shoved me away. I slammed against the kitchen wall, my head jerking against the unyielding tiles. I felt warm water ooze out from my skull and crimson bathe the white. I sank to my knees. He was still screaming as I lazily looked up. The rose. The rose stuck to his chest as he clawed at it. He clawed at his flesh retching out chunks of it. Pieces of him rained to the floor in sickly globs of ooze. His flesh began to smoke, then burn, then flame. He burst into flames as he screamed and clawed and cursed. I could not make out the words he screamed. They were to alien. My vision blurred as I felt a puddle of crimson pool around beneath me. I smiled weakly as he burned and writhed and cursed. Fuck you, you bastard. Go back the fuck where you came from. Go back to hell. I cursed under my breath as I felt the last of my life seep away.

It went dark. Inky dark. Warm and safe. Like a thick velvet blanket. I opened my eyes and in the dark I saw a shape. A shadow within the shadow. I knew I should be afraid but I wasn’t. I was calm. At peace. The shadow approached me. It reached out to me and took my hand. It was warm…and familiar. He lifted me to my feet and the darkness was bathed in white light. Patrick. Beautiful Patrick smiled back at me.

“My beautiful Kat. I have missed you. I have always loved you. I have missed you…”